The very next day goes down as the worst in my work as a shrink so far. Things came to a head and I managed to cry in front of a patient. I negotiated an early end to my shift with my line manager and went on to have a panic attack in the car on my way home.
I thought I was dying or going to kill myself. At some point I noticed I was starting to feel dizzy and later realized this meant I was hyperventilating. It was the worst breakdown I ever experienced in my life.
I am grateful beyond words to the person who talked me out of my catastrophizing feedback loop. I could not possibly have found better words. Goes to show who your real friends are and what professionalism actually means.
The mind is both a powerful, beautiful and incredibly dangerous and hurtful place at times.
From Zero to Nothing. 